I have suffered from depression for over ten years. Four years ago I was diagnosed as bipolar. I followed the prescribed regimen of medication (Zoloft) for two years. It was effective but it left me in a dull, emotionless state. It also caused sexual dysfunction. I discontinued use of Zoloft and my depression was at a minimum.

In January of 1995 I was in Amsterdam for an art course I was taking with the University. I had not smoked marijuana in over seven years at the time.

Across the street from my hotel was a coffee shop, the Grasshopper. (Ed. note: This is one of the largest in Amsterdam. It is near the Central Station.)

I went in out of curiosity and before I knew it I had purchased some hash and grass.

After rolling a joint I took a few puffs, and in a short while I felt as I had not felt in years. I returned to Germany with as small quantity of cannabis products. Using pot to medicate my depression was far more effective than the mood elevators I have been prescribed. I would take between 5-10 hits per day. (Ed. note: It is surprising how little marijuana it takes for many medical users to get symptomatic relief. This makes the concerns about adverse consequences largely irrelevant.)

At this time, I was substitute teaching at an American School in Germany. I was attending the University’s European Division and was on the Dean’s List. Marijuana had not affected me adversely.

Since returning to the United States I have been unable to continue my use of marijuana for my condition. The problems are

1.Drug testing is required for most jobs.

2. The quality of marijuana is unreliable.

I have to work, so I find abstinence the best course.

The quality problem is two fold. The best pot for my condition is the Sativa. They energize me and stabililze my emotional state. The Indicas tire me and exacerbate my depression. (Ed. note: The different effect of different strains of cannabis needs to be studied much more. In some of the better coffee shops there are many different varieties available. A knowledgeable clerk can advise on whether you should use this for sleep or that for daytime.)

It is hit or here as to what you are getting. The other problem is you can never be sure if the product you purchase has been treated with and artificial drug. (Ed. note: Actually, this is extremely rare.)

My situation keeps becoming more untenable each day. I just want to know where I can direct people who support the medical use of marijuana, so that others like myself may benefit in the future. (Ed. note: I always recommend that people join NORML.)

Also, I would like to know if there is any way a U.S. citizen can attain gainful employment in the Netherlands so as to take advantage of the liberal policies there. (Ed. note: It is very difficult. There are quite a number of medical marijuana refugees whose presence in Holland is probably illegal, but the Dutch are not zealous about deporting people. It is just difficult to get a legal job.)

I do not know if you are familiar with bipolar disorder. It is a disease that keeps the sufferer vacillating between extreme mood swings.

I feel desperate these days and am grateful for the opportunity to express my situation and concern to someone who seems to be working to help people like myself who are suffering. Any information you can provide will be appreciated.

"C"